No seriously.
Growing up I was always teased about being chubby. For the first three years of my life I went to a small school and I was the biggest. When I started high school in grade 7 - std 5 I was the third smallest in my class. But I still felt fat.
I really laughed the other day when my mom said she felt I looked anorexic as teen. I remember only wanting to wear tight clothes and costumes when taking photographs to proof that I was not fat.
The year I turned 19 I foolishly went on a shake diet to support my friend. Since then I have struggled with my weight. When I went on the pill it went out of control and after I had my daughter I officially became and still am extremely obese. I weighed 58kg nine years ago now I weight 109kg.
I have been to two dietitians, Weight Less program, my doctor put on a shake diet, I have read many diet books, I got exercise videos and DVD's, I even have one of those CD's that you must listen to change your subconscious mindset.
At times my whole life seems to be focused on my weight and it has gotten worse instead of better. In fact it is one of the subjects that is top of our moving to Ireland list - now that I will not be working I need to plan my family life and eating so that we can all lose weight become more healthy. Tall order - In two weeks time we will be there and I will start recording my plan and progress in my 4 Day Win blog - I will use the Low GI plan from my dieticians and the 4 Day Win book by Martha Beck.
Here some of my favourite funnies and a peom:
Life is not about Weight
you do not measure my life
with the weight
of this and that
or the length
whether light or heavy or long or short
or time,
life is not that
life has something to do more with the quality
of your laughter
and tears, the way you shout your joys
and scream your grief
the way you love
how deeply
and truly and intensely like light
which does not bend
or bow
it has color and when you filter it
it gives more colors that you
did not really know
or imagine
it has warmth too
and goes straight in space
dissipating and then
you think it is gone
but it is still
there
like the air touching again
the skin covering
your soul
your cheeks feeling
MuKaKo MuKaMo
5 comments:
You know, I agree with your statement about when we focus on our weight, our lives get worse and not better. How often do we tell ourselves that we are going to go on a diet and then food is the only thing that we can think about? I think that nearly everyone of us has fallen into the trap of trying to make ourselves better and without realising it, we make it harder and more burdensome than ever. And then it starts a vicious cycle. It's almost like trying to get out of quicksand, the more you struggle the more you get dragged down.
I hope you do reach your goals, no matter what those goals may be.
Anywho, My HoT is up at my place: http://bevies-place.livejournal.com/#bevies_place27662
Hi Simone. Thank you for putting into words what so many wrestle with every day of their lives. You wrote about your struggles so eloquently and so well. I completely relate, and am glad you're using your impending move as a catalyst for a new chapter. I admire your courage.
Wanted to also let you know I've posted a new Thematic Photographic entry over on my blog. Your photography is so deft and subtle that I hope you consider participating in my new online project.
All the best,
Carmi
Thanks Carmi
Planning on doing a course in digital photography when I settle in N. Ireland.
love the poem.
thanks for stopping by my place.
Insightful sharing today. Those of us who have struggled with 'weight' issues can certainly relate big time. I loved the cartoon collage and am glad you left the link at Small Reflections so I found your HoTs post this week. I've not had as much opportunity to stop by blogs because of my computer problems, but hope that will be remedied once my new computer arrives. Best wishes to you on your journey.
Hugs and blessings,
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