Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Would I do it again? mmm let see how I feel tomorrow.
Monday, July 30, 2007
The funny thing now is that I cannot come up with a list of alternatives. After speaking to my husband, a friend and spending today at a conference, I feel that I am in the career that i need to be. Yes, its a bit bumpy at the moment and........... none of my previous jobs or future ones were/will be smooth. I am not my job and my job is not me. It is however what I spend most of time on and I sure would like to be enjoying it.
I chose this profession because I believed it was the one place I could fully express myself and be of service - the one place where I could learn, grow and have fun. Combine my hobbies and talents. Build my spirit and express my spirituality. For various reasons this is not the case and it has not been for last the last two years. That can however change.
I need to first of all forgive myself, let go of expectations, be patient, slow down and dream. The message is that I have been holding myself to unrealistically high standards which have been depleting my self-esteem and self-confidence. My struggle to balance home, work, relationships - does not have to be a struggle. I need to let go of that idea and just be.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
My friend Ruth said something to me the other day and I felt alarm bells going off in my head and then I just pushed it away. Two years ago I read the book following our North Star and the same thing happened ( I didn't do all the exercises but I remember the emotions I felt). Each year I have done a little work, a little delving within and then decided to get on with life as it is now and believed that the following year would be better. Surprise, Surprise! I find myself at the same crossroads again!
Part of me is saying but this is what you asked for. You living in the place and working in the job that you wanted (okay not teaching the my subjects of choice but I also knew that would happened that is why I have studied so many different subjects so that I could be of service in the school in various subject areas). I am find myself having to build up a lot of energy in order to do the minimum amount of tasks to keep my head above water. This is tiring and frustrating, it is also knocking my self-esteem. I believe in the principal of working to the best of my ability, I believe in working hard and being prepared and I am falling short in my own eyes , of my own standards - I am trying to creep up back to where I want to be and my husband is really supporting me.
But at the same time I am wondering if I am really creeping/ climbing the the right wall. When I ask what else or where else , my mind is blank.
There have flashes of wanting to work with younger children, doing holiday programs. Last year I even went as far as design a logo, blog and one week program. It was fun, hard work and unsuccessful.
Then I think I need to find the joy where I am and forget about taking the risk of forging unknown path.
I have worked my whole life and taken decisions that I would make a better teacher, able to share give to others. That is what i have wanted to do since I was ten years old - teach. Every job I did in the past was taken to broaden my skills, experience in order to be a good person and teacher.
Now all I feel like doing is not working, taking a break. In a sense I feel I still would like to teach but I need a break from teaching at the moment - financially I cannot afford not to work. We have discussed positioning ourselves so that I could take a break but then I went and made foolish financially decisions and lost sight of that goal. Self-sabotage maybe.
So God, what I am really asking is can you talk to me more directly and loudly. I want to hear you clearly, I want to be sure is not my own fears directing me. I believe that you want be me to be a happy and fulfilled person. I know that as experience this happiness and fulfilment that those who come into contact with me will be blessed too. This is what I really want.
I need help right now to fulfil my current responsibilities and I need direction right now as to which career path to take.
Unconscious Mutterings by Luna
- Traditional ::old, not so bad, where the hell, why the hell
- Popeye :: the sailor man, spinach
- Gin ::and tonic, Fred and Ginger, Lets go dancing
- Harsh :: parched
- Topless :: dancing, why not
- The thing :: is?, .......
- Defiant ::stubborn, naughty
- Huge ::large, humugous
- Food :: a friend
- Lenny :: the singer, writer and inspiration
Free association is described as a "psychonanalytic procedure in which a person is encouraged to give free rein to his or her thoughts and feelings, verbalizing whatever comes into the mind without monitoring its content." Over time, this technique is supposed to help bring forth repressed thoughts and feelings that the person can then work through to gain a better sense of self.
That's an admirable goal, but for the purposes of this excercise, we're just hoping to have a little fun with the technique. Each week I'll post ten words to which you can respond to with the first thing that comes to mind.
"Rules are, there are no rules." There are no right or wrong answers. Don't limit yourself to one word responses; just say everything that pops into your head. AND you don't have to have your words up on Sunday.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
COMING SOON - PIC OF MY DAUGHTERS FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH SNOW.
I was 22 years old and in the USA when I first experienced real snow. This year is the first time I saw snow in SA and played with snow in SA.
Our weather has been breaking records: Cape Times
Snow in Johannessburg in June 2007 (The last time the city had "good snow" was in September 1981.)
National Warning - Issued on Saturday, 28 July 2007 at 16.00
Gale force north-westerly to westerly winds, accompanied by very rough seas with wave heights in excess of 5m are expected between Cape Point and East London.
Very cold conditions are expected over the highground of the Western and Northern Cape Provinces as well as southern Drakensberg, Lesotho and the north-eastern highground of the Eastern Cape. Conditions which may lead to the development and spread runaway fires are expected over Mpumalanga lowveld, Swaziland and KwaZulu-Natal.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
I lost 1 Kg. YAY.
the increased exercise last week paid off.
This week the weather took a turn for the worst. Really wet,cold and rainy.
Idid Burn and Kick exercise DVD to replace the walking. THAT's my Four DAY WIN goal for this week 2 days of 30min exercise and 2 days of 1hr exercise.
My reward is a CHILI BODY WRAP - its on special for R90.00 next Monday at a beauty salon I pass on my way to my Power Plate exercise.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Let see how that goes.
Here are two interesting articles:
11 ways of staying focused ,June 21st, 2006 by Dave Cheong
18 Ways to Stay Focused at Work, August 14th, 2006 by Dave Cheong
Saturday, July 21, 2007
First of all, here are the rules:
A. Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves.
B. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed.
C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.8 Facts/habits:
1. I got 10 out of 10 for my Judas Iscariot monologue in my Drama exams. Also played the character on stage.
2. Did belly dance classes for 6 months.
3. Started a Spiritual Dance group in my Church (Years ago).
4. Worked in as factory worker, as a admin. assistant , secretary, laboratory assistant, au pair, an educator and guide for the Wildlife and Environment society, receptionist and teacher.
5. Played soccer for one year at school - defence.
6. Favourite formulae One drivers: Nicky Louder, Alan Prost and Raikkonen. Don't follow the sport anymore - moved to a pay channel in South Africa.
7. Aerobics and walking are my preferred exercise options.
8. Discovered that I also enjoy work with young children (in fact I might leave teaching High School for a break and go to primary or even pre-primary level) - My six year old daughter is the one who helped me realise this.
Previous tag: 8 Random facts about me 14 June 2007.
Friday, July 20, 2007
I am still looking for ideas for rewards (mmmm maybe I should run a competition..... now I would have to think of prize). I have completed a 4 Day Win cycle: drinking 8 glasses of water, walking every day for 4 days and 2 days of Power Plate exercise.
The reward I choose today is to watch another episode of Stargate Atlantis and Knit.
Then its back on the band wagon to catch up with my file preparation, marking and term planing. Next week is moderation for one of my grade 11 subjects to two nights of Parents meetings.
Here are reward ideas from Sparkpeople (go to the page for the entire article):
- Create an actual plaque or trophy.
- Give yourself badges of honor for different levels of accomplishment.
- Take a vacation or weekend getaway.
- Take a day off from any goal activities.
- Put $1 in a jar every time you meet a goal. When it gets to $50, treat yourself.
- Create a Trophy Scrapbook, where you keep mementos from your accomplishments.
- See a movie.
- Make a grab bag of little prizes. When you reach a significant goal, reach in and get your reward!
- Go for a spa treatment or massage.
- Buy yourself a gift certificate.
- Take a limo ride to work one day.
- Subscribe to a magazine you always wanted.
- Go canoeing or do something outdoorsy.
- Watch your favorite TV show.
- Buy something for your hobby (i.e., car, garden, music, collections, holidays).
- Read a funny book.
- Celebrate "100% Days". If you reach 100% of your goals that day, choose two rewards.
- Find some time to be by yourself.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Living On Purpose
Monday, July 16, 2007
"A Day In The Life Of 'My Child/Pets Name.'" Add the 5 people you have tagged in your blog and beneath add the person who tagged you. If you'd like to participate, please leave me a message on my blog http://jaridcaydon.blogspot.com with your blog address. You can also advertise it on your blog and if you know someone who would like to participate in something like this, pass the word around. You don't have to be on the list to participate, the list is just a guidline of who will be interested in it. Hope we can have fun reading the stories and seeing cute pictures. Have a Lovely Day. Thanks Claudelle
Yippeeeeeee, I got a great big box to play in
I took a photo of Gran, she is visiting us.
Love the purple scarf she is knitting.
Hmmmmm, I wish it was for me.
Gran woke me up too early when she went to the bathroom.
so I decided to get right back into bed with mom and dad.
What! Oh NO
Not while I am dressing mom!
Getting some fruit for snacks for drive to Hermanus.
This is my best friend Bobo. He is also six years old and his from China.
He says that China looks like a chicken in the map book.
Got binoculars - Hope we see some whales. But first I have a nap.
Man, I am hot and I so borrrrrrrred. No whales.
Coool water fountain in the coffee.
Daddy bought us sherbet and Bow and arrow
Its just too windy to play with them.
All this climbing, walking and driving is really making me sleepy.
1. Opinion Minions
2. Addies Ramblings
3. Amy's Random Thoughts
4. The Buzz Queen
5. Two Moms in a Blog (Heidi and Crystal)
You're Babar the King!
by Jean de Brunhoff
Though your life has been filled with struggle and sadness of late,
you're personally doing quite well for yourself. All this success brings responsibility,
though, and should not be taken lightly. Life has turned from war to peace, from damage
to reconstruction, and this brings a bright new hope for everyone you know. These hopeful
people look to you for guidance, and your best advice to them is to watch out for snakes.
You're quite fond of the name "Celeste".
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Don't you just love awards. I do. Its almost as good as getting comments. knowing that someone out there is wanting to interact and share their thoughts.
"As it goes, schmoozing is the natural ability “to converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.” Good schmoozers effortlessly weave their way in and out of the blogsphere, leaving friendly trails and smiles, happily making new friends along the way. They don’t limit their visits to only the rich and successful, but spend some time to say hello to new blogs as well. They are the ones who engage others in meaningful conversations, refusing to let it end at a mere hello - all the while fostering a sense of closeness and friendship".
Thank you Whenn from Opinion Minions for honouring me with this award.
I would like to honour:
Addie @ Addie’s Random Ramblings
Heidi @ Two Moms in a Blog
Amy @ Amy's Random Thoughts
Kelly @ Kellyology
jams o donnell @ The Poor Mouth
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Unconscious Mutterings by Luna.
- Situation ::impossible, excuse
- Theme song :: Man from at Atlantis
- Kelly :: Kellyology
- Club :: Med, dancing
- Swerve :: miss
- Couch ::potato
- Bigfoot :: Bear
- Arbitrary :: anything can happen
- Inventor :: miracle worker
- Blazer :: razor, school
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Open to everyone. Swap Bot
This is a very simple swap. For this swap you will have 6 partners and you will send them the following via email:
- one of your favourite recipes
- a favourite or helpful www link
- one picture of anything you find important, special or beautiful. (Please use discretion and let's not send nasty or nude photos, thanks!)
Now just choosing one thing is tricky.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
I have maintained my weight at 103kg lost more 1cm around the waist. This is miracle. The last two and half weeks I lost focus of my eating and did not implement the 4 Day Win Principles. Exercise 2-3 times a week has helped to maintain my weight. Now is time to get back on track and step up the pace.
One of my challenges is choosing how to reward myself after 4 Days.
Any suggestions on what you would do? No food rewards.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Host Blog: An Island Review
Deadline to Enter: July 13, 2007
Prize: Retractable MP3 Earphones with Swarovski Crystals (value $50)
Listening never looked so good! Be the envy of all your friends with this hot new style of earphones. These are stereo quality and work with Ipod, portable stereo, or computer audio system. Genuine pink Swarovski crystals.
How to Enter:
- Mention this contest on your blog with a link back to this post.
- Leave a comment below as to why you think you should win the bling (your comments will not increase you chances of winning but it should be fun to see what people say).
- A random winner will be selected on July 14th and contacted via email.
Tomorrow you will see the evidence of my daughters first fishing expedition.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Tietiesbaai (adequately translated: Breast Bay?). They say it’s named after the voluptuous curve of the bay, or a suggestively shaped boulder on the hill, or maybe even a fisherman named Titus who used to live there.
White washed fishermen’s’ cottages sit side by side with newer holiday homes in this small fishing village. Thanks to the Atlantic Ocean summer is cooled by a fresh sea breeze and a plunge into the bracing water wakes up every nerve in your body. their morning expeditions and buy the fish of the day, guaranteed fresh.
The nature reserve lies to the south of the town, with the Cape Columbine lighthouse (named after the wreck of the Early risers can meet the small fishing boats when they return from barque Columbine in 1829) marking a navigational point for ships approaching from Europe and America. The last manned lighthouse to be built in South Africa in 1936.
The Lisboa wrecked on Soldiers Reef – Paternoster: On 23 October 1910, the Lisboa ran aground on Soldiers Reef near Paternoster. The wreck of the Lisboa is particularly interesting because it was the first occasion on the South African coast on which radio telegraphy was used to summon help by a ship in distress.
Wonder of the West Coast
Ours is the land where the songs of the sea
fill weary souls and set them free
Ours is the land where a rising tide
spreads out its splendour on white sands so wide
Ours it the land where the seagull's cry
echoes through pictures of a painted sky,
enhancing the scenes of boats on a bay
with hulls hanging low from the catch of the day
Ours is the land where flora makes fun
turning fragrant faces to the stance of the sun
Ours is the land where riches and gold
are found in the truth of stories untold
of ancient ships which had passed by long ago
leaving rusted wrecks far away down below
Ours is the land of the wide West Coast wonder
where cosy bays cluster to beaches down yonder,
where the folks are awaiting you with a smile
to welcome you in unique West Coast style
So come to the land and see that it's true
'cause we want to share all our beauty with you
Come join in the harvest of our sundrenched sea
which the Lord had provided for you and for me.
---- Esta Steyn ----- from Wide Blue - The Voice of the South African West Coast